2003 TurkeyBowl IV Champions
Untouchables 13
Stone Balls 9
MVP- Jefrie Funtal
BadAss- JimmyWayne Hoeltje

TurkeyBowl IV Recap
The oldtimers cleared the way atop Anderson Field at 9:30, cones were set up, endzones and firstdowns were marked off, the videographer was in place and it was time for TurkeyBowl IV....Before gametime the Bailey Brothers called in sick due to the flu dealing an early blow to the Stone Balls, they quickly filled their spots with unnamed players from Allegheny College, it would prove to be a critical turning point....The Untouchables huddled up and were led in a chant by npoc, "who ride?" "who ride?" and responded with "we ride" and did they ever....The untouchables took the opening kickoff scored a touchdown and never looked back, they scored their second and third touchdowns before the Stone Balls ever got on the scoreboard, the untouchables passing attack was led by lankywitz and the genius playcalling was due in part to ryan macel, jefrie funtal took the brunt of the runs and was literally untouchable, he just could not be tackled, mad dog tony borress impressed with a few direct snap runs and made a couple catches, npoc and justinhull were the consistence on the line opening gaps wider than shannon O to key the running attack....The stoneballs put up a fight and tryed to keep it close with Sheb leading the passing attack until JMacel attempted to take over at QB and threw 4 consecutive interceptions and was sacked twice, the running game never had a chance to get going as they were trailing to much to run the ball, but when they did run, ross bulldozed anybody that didn't duck out of his way, Kyle was one of the few to actually go for his legs to bring him down, Ritter got a few carrys as well but strong pressure by the turnover twins JustinHull and npoc cut him down before any significant gains...speaking of the turnover twins, Hull and npoc recorded 5 combined sacks including 3 forced fumbles, 2 fumble recoveries, 6 deflected passes and an npoc interception...The line of ritter and coach macel did their best but were only able to contain the tenacious defense....during Ritters bi-polar attacks he eneregized his team by turning into a complete lunatic and flipping out, he laid what may of been the biggest hit of the day on Kyle, forcing the ball to pop out of Kyle's arms and shoot 10 yards in the air, the fumble was later recovered by Ross and led to a late first half spark for the StoneBalls, who went into halftime down 8-4
Halftime
Injury Report: JimmyWayne Hoeltjes Ribs....Ritters wrist, ankle and ripped pants...Ross's rotator cuff....npocs eyes....and the Stone Balls ego
Following the oldtimers game, the oldheads always stick around every year to watch us and bring a cooler full of beer, this years brew was none other than Pabst Blue Ribbon, yelling from the sideline "Stick em!, Stick em!" "You hit like a girl" (despite the fact that they were playing 2 hand tag) and "Catch the Damn ball!"...the old heads always create an excellent atmosphere to play the game, they were even kind enough to donate a few beers, which were instantly chugged by Ritter who then lit up 3 cigarettes in the span of halftime, the other beer was dumped on Funtals head...by himself
2nd Half
The 2nd half began with 2 quick strikes to make the score 9-5 but then a scoring drough of over 25 minutes until 4 more quick strikes made it 10-6, then 11-7, by when npocs advice was finally taken and the running game was fully implemented there was no stopping the untouchables, Funtal ran up the down the sidelines at free will...the stone balls relied on a few gracious calls to get to 9 but it was to late as their onside kicks all failed and funtal took the last play of the game 75 yards to house to secure victory for the untouchables as guaranteed
Post-Game
The trophy's were presented with the majorette trophy designated as the bad ass award went to JimmyWayne Hoeltje for his ability to recover from 2 broken ribs to finish the game, not to mention incredible hands on 2 highlight real catches and an interception....The MVP was no question and a unanimous vote went to Jefrie Funtal who was the first to sign the Wicked Wicker MVP award...the game lasted 4 and a half hours from 9:30am- 2:00pm, warmest weather in turkeybowl history but the rain came down hard shortly after half-time making for some interesting playing conditions, footing was difficult at best and changing directions without cleats was physically impossible....npoc improves his turkeybowl record to 3-1...rematch talks were going on immediately following the game, once the Untouchables have time to bask in their glory they will honor the Stone Balls request and schedule the Jingle Bowl for shortly after christmas

Thanksgiving Day Post
Best things about Thanksgiving
1)TurkeyBowl
2)Post-meal nap
3)Football on TV alllll day
4)Stuffing

Stuffing, it is so damn good and goes with everything, if it was not for stuffing, the turkey would be nothing, the mashed pototoes wouldn't be the same, stuffing is incredible and not enough can be said about it, so why the hell do we only have it once a year, once a year! I will not eat stuffing for another 360+ days but yet that is all I can think of, its a true shame that stuffing is not eaten more often

Wishbone, so every year me and lil bro danny go t it with the wishbone, we like to let it dry up and get it hard until we try to snap it, so this year danny puts it on the woodburner and when it comes time to snap it, pop, it shatters and nails danny directly in the eye, a mad rush ensues to see who will recover the tailpiece of the wishbone, I hit the deck and fall on it and once again win, I forgot to make a wish though, but it made my day

Daily Recap
The Thanksgiving Nite Bash turned out alright with special guest appearances made by David J Killian, Tony Dierenzo, Ritter, Angie, Mary Show, J-ride who was hosting, Mick Foley, Jennifer the Gun, Ruggy the Dog and Torpedo Tits Emelia who housed 4 keystones and immediately left. Ritter pulled throw delivering the case of Keystone but neither ritter nor npoc were able to move due to pain inflicted from being on the front lines in the TurkeyBowl....the 2nd greatest episode of Howard Stern came on during the festivities, the one with the wheel of sex, and the second girl to go (the pale asian) had the wheel land on Bagels and Cream Cheese, that is the greatest use of cream cheese period, what an episode, I always wanted to throw a bagel slice at a girls ass covered in cream cheese and watch it stick, if that isn't fun I don't know what is
Friday
The 2nd busiest shopping day of the year so guess who gets suckered into going to the mall to drop off J-ride at work, npoc of course, passed by the party house to pick up J-ride and Mary Show and sat in traffic for a cool 30 minutes and circled the parking lot for another 30 minutes until settling on a spot in the middle of nowhere, big day for samples in the food court, other than that not much going on, dropped off j-ride at delias and saw Brain Payne and Turps....me and maryshow had noticed a frog wandering around the lower level of the mall and we decided to investigate, we discovered a live country music/picksburg sports auction going on, npocs first auction ever, mary show didn't get a chance to make any bids but npoc did slide in a 10$ bid on an autographed post that ended up going for $42, nothing was won but it was a good experience, Jennifer the gun and torpedo tits even made appearances

I demand more stuffing, scroll down to a couple days posts ago and click the join army link, I need all the troops all I can get

Amarillo by morning, up from San Antone

I aint gotta dime but what I got is mine

-n