Cruise Recap

npocs 7 day western Caribbean cruise recap
This is the story of a 7 day cruise aboard the carnival paradise with my family and my 3 cousins ang, chenza, paul and my aunt and uncle
We take a rough 2 hour flight from Picksburg to MIA (Miami International Airport) this airport has birds all over the place inside the building just divebombing people, very random
we get on the boat and its just incredible, and so massive, well everything except our cabin which was the size of a large walk in closet
me, ang, chenza and paul take a tour of the boat and we find the casino and I am instantly 20$ in the hole thanks to blackjack, but I vow to return
The food is all free and I went to town on their burgers, went picksburg style to throwin in fries and coleslaw
if these burgers weren't big enuff already everyday we were on the cruise paul gets a double
unbelievable
after the emergency life jacket drill we run into 2 couples both on their honeymoons who speak just italian and no english, luigi illadia etzo, very interesting people
dinner time
this restaurant proved to be a 5 star place, our waiters remil and christopher, both from he Philippines were excellent, you only gotta tell them what you want once and you'll have it every nite at the same time
it was just incredible service and the fish was excellent
red snapper, salmon, lobster bisque, orange roughy, black tiger shrimp, mussels, scallops
not to mention the desert
chocolate souffle and tiramusu
and my only non fish meal was a massive filet mignon
everynite after dinner, there was shoooowtime, which included the waiters and us dancing the macarena, los ketchup, hot hot hot, o sole mio, and leaving on a jetplane
the nightly ritual after dinner was to head straight to the casino right after we stopped in our room to see what our cabin steward rick made
this guy made animals out of towels
the most incredible artistic thing I have seen in quite some time
there was elephants, snakes, monkeys, dogs, rabbits, all made from linens
then after gawking for a little and puttin on my lucky hat to the casino it was, I dropped 60$ this time on a combination of 3 card poker and blackjack but never fear because I shall return
check out the rex dance club for the "mixer" not to bad, cheetah print designed place with tv's everywhere and comfy couches
the pizza place was open 24 hours so we stop there around 1am and down a few pizzas (just like college) then its back to the 4 foot by 2 foot cabin where I slept on a 4 inch by 2 inch cot on the ground because danny gets the big bed cause hes danny
Monday
Day at the Sea
get up early and run on the track on the top deck with paul and ang, check out the weight room, eat more free food then hang out by the pool all day, accidentally fall asleep and end up burning pretty bad
more free food
sports trivia on the lido deck with paul and chenza we did alright but this random chick from out of nowhere claims she got 13 questions right and she took home the trophy
me and chenza then took part in the water olympics which consisted of spoon diving in the pool
me and chenza competed with a man who apparently had 7 lungs as he stayed underwater for about 14 hours and came up with 11 spoons, compared to my 6
afternoon naps are crucial
monday night was our first formal night so I busted out the pin stripe tux with backless vest and me and paul reanacted some godfather scenes, eat another incredible dinner and head straight for the casino where I win 10$ at 3 card poker and instantly flee, we head to this lounge to witness quite perhaps the greatest cover band of all time
the asian quartet full with bass and lead guitarist as well and the piano man and an incredible lead asian as the singer, they called themselves the bestseller and they went through all the hits including boot scoot boogie
paul even shouted out a request for ice ice baby and the lead guitarist responded by rattling off the opening hook
black comedian then came out and was the third best comedian of the week, pretty good
his final joke he told was an absolute classic and someday I mite type the entire 15 minute joke on the blog
back to the casino it was, where I win another 20 almost instantly in 3 card poker and immediately leave again, slowly winning back my money
call it a nite around 2
Tuesday
Belize City, Belize
Seeing is belizing
You gotta see it to belize it
We took a speed boat from the big boat to the town of belize city, I toiled around tourist village for a little chatting it up with the local yokals and purchased a few sho glasses and such
we booked an excursion to this island in the middle of nowhere and we got to snorkel too, which was not a good idea
The water was clear and glass and I had an inflatable vest to keep me afloat as well and snorkel gear
but as soon as i dove in the water my goggles fogged up, my snorkel came unattached and my vest (which I put on wrong) instantly shot up to around my neck cutting off whatever oxygen I still had in my system, and then just when it couldn't get worse the boat sent quakes towering over my head and sending saltwater through my excretory system and I just kept thinking, I have to do this for 45 minutes
But around the 30 minute mark I got my stuff together just in time to see a gigantic piranahh about 15 centimeters away from my face, I instantly retreat back to the boat and we head back to this island, goffs caye, beautiful island, small and secluded
we head back to the mainlaind and reboard the paradise
I was all over the place at the casino, started up 15 then down 10 then up 30 then down 65, all on roulette, I got pretty addicted but once again I vow to return
Wednesday
Roatan Island, Honduras
by far the most beautiful of the four port of calls
we book a ride to tabiana beach
crystal clear water and white sand again
everyone decides to get their hair branded, my lil brother danny ends up looking like xhibit, I make friends with a former ball player for the devil rays minor league system and down coronas all day with him at a bar on the beach
I try out the local beers to, port royal and I have a couple salva vidas (lifesaver) not too bad, but they're no coronas
got to ride some horses up and down the beach and through the neighborhoods and attempted to snorkel again, but of course it failed
back to the boat and back to the roulette table where I get up $30 pretty quickly and head to dinner and back to the casino where I blow my previous winnings plus another 5, big fat black lady entertainer tia thompson show, pretty good but not good enough to make me stay for her second show cause I had a date with andrea the greatest casino dealer of all time (pictures soon to come) she delt me a few good hands and i was up 15 and on my way
I watched some singalong with garth, this country guitar player who sits on this bar and churns out all the classic with his acoustic and keyboard
watch some karoke, listen to the calypso band with ang on the lido deck
go back to the casino and drop another 20 spot
grab some pizza and make yet another trip to the 3 card poker table where I find myself down 60 with only a 5 dollar chip in hand
this single chip wins me 45$ back in one sitting at the roulette wheel, and I am saved, I can now live to see another day at the casino, my boy mawhe cashes me out and I vow to return tomorrow
Thursday
Grand Cayman Islands
take another tender boat to get this island, it is quickly dubbed Brand Cayman Islands as its pretty americanized and full of brand names and such
me chenza and paul just went to town with the video camera recording everything in site
meatloaf video in the hardrock, sunglasses, trying on hats and robes, pappa johns and kfc's, paul farts in la perfummia II, caymania, swatch your step, del sol, big black dick rum, the pirates cover, house mad shot glasses
this town is infatuated with pirates and me and paul bought some pirate flags
"surrender the booty"
"time flys when your having rum"
naps in the afternoon are crucial
second formal night so get dressed up again, see my first sunset
karoke time
ace of base "the sign" I have no idea who picked it but I knew NONE of the words
another incredible dinner thanks to remil christopher and Mr. V the maitre'd
back to the casino of course
start with 40 then get down 30 but win back all my money and chenza comes outta nowhere and demands that I put 10$ on even, I refuse it, so she puts $25 on even and I put my 10 spot down and....30
even
shes up 25 im up 10 we head to some vegas show, not to bad, there was one part where this guy just spun some skinny chick over his head through there air and he held her above her a point and let go and she slid down him as she was in a complete circle
absolutely incredible, everyone instantly stood up and went oooooooooooooooo, you couldn't help yourself
see jim brick the comedian, tears this punk kid a new one, just cuttin up allll nite long, he was the best comedian I have ever seen, met him after the show and then proceeded to the roulette table where I end the night +15
tear up some rugs in the rex dance club with chenza and ang then grab some pizza and walk around the top deck til about 3
Friday
Cozumel, Mexicoooooo
me ang chenza and paul shop around in the porta moya then hitch a cab to get downtown, we find the fat tuesdays there and me and ang buy a yardlong margarita, that lasted about a minute and we made sure to stop at every single bar that sold dollar coronas, even little quike marts sold them, 1 dolla and they alll came with limes, I tryed some local beers and then settle on the dos equies which are actually better than coronas
I recorded a mexican guy tryin to sell my weed and crack, incredible, senor frogs, carlos and charlies,
another cab back to the port and me and ang stop at a bar and I have a few more coronas before reembarking
we get back to the boat and me paul and chenza get ready and head back to cozumel quickly before dinner, buy some of the little bottles of rum and liquor to maintain the buzz on the boat, those were in the duty free shop, paul takes some incredible pictures on me and chenza at this beach bar with sand and reclining chairs
straight outta a corona commercial (pictures are on the way)
back to the boat intime for a dinner, at this point Im pretty gone, I even went as far as mixing my captain morgan parrot bay with my water at the dinner table, chenza helped me out by covering the concoction with my menu
me ang paul and chenza waisted no time and headed right back to cozumel and had the best time of the entire trip at fat tuesdays right off the port
Drunk mike from picksburg was there and my cousins boyfriend jason and his brother as well as random other people we met throughout the cruise
I sampled every drink in the house and then bought another yard, this time of 190 octane with 190 being the proof, jason bought everyone a shot of tequila, I was so gone I forgot to lick the salt off my hand until after I downed it, but at that point it was all water
they played bon jovi, I got in a congo line, drank alot more and last thing I remember is drunk mike checking passports at the customs checkpoint
the rest is from watching the video of this all
we go to the leonardo lounge and me paul and chenza put on the karoke performance of a life time, bye bye bye, I was all over the place, somehow knowing all the words yet I was so far away from everyone else I couldn't see the screen
dance on the lido deck with the asian quartet the bestsellers, we get everyone to do the tarantella to YMCA's "in the navy", hang out int he REX again, blow 60$ in the casino on every game possible including slots
eat alot of pizza and hangout on the decks til pretty late
Saturday
Last Day at Sea
feeling somewhat hungover as I dont get out of bed until 10, relax by the pool and eat alot of free food
watched an incredible juggling/comedy show
a hand reached out to give the juggler some props
"Id like everyone to give a round of applause to my stage hand"
me and paul instantly look at each other from across the lounge and award him a point
"anyone here from out of town"
another good one from the juggler
Jim Brick got back on for a family comedy show and once again he was incredible
"we stopped to get food yesterday in mexico, they don't usually do that, you people are on a record pace of eating, if there is a line at 11pm on this boat you will be in it just hoping there is food on the other end, they could be leading you off the plank and you wont complain til your feet get wet and they ull think its the seafood buffet and we'll be mad you forgot your camera
what the hell is up with you people of taking pictures of the food and those damn towels in your room, they freaking linens people"
just an excerpt
sad farewell dinner, im gonna miss remil and christopher and mr.v
my date with destiny begins
My final $100, toil around for alittle at the roulette table, stay even, check out a talent show with chenza, pretty good
we instantly make a bee line to the casino and everyone gathers round
I feel like maverick at this point
its me, tex, drunk mike and old women river
we end up all staying at this table until 3am
never have I ever see this many great hands in one sitty
a 3 of a kind, a straight flush, a straight with 25$ on the pairplus
we were playing blind, refusing to look at our cards, the dealer (julia roberts) slowly revealed the cards, I wa pulling flushes out of nowhere, even had 2 straights and a plethora of pairs, nobody could leave the table we were all hooked and everyone was winning and winning big
It was an incredible night, payback night, ang stayed with me til the very end and I ended up being up 175$ from that one sitting at the table and if I didn't make a profit I atleast broke even on the entire trip, but what a time was had in that casino
I even got my picture taken with andrea from finland and julia roberts from romania
it doesnt get anybetter
me and ang hit up the pizzeria and hangout on the deck waiting for mawhee
retire around 430am, what a night, Im gonna miss that boat
Sunday
Pack our shit up, grab some last minute free food and head to MIA and fly back to home sweet picksburg

since I been home
me nest and sam made a trip to wvu to check out our new place
it comes with a roulette wheel and table! can you seriously believe that
had a few millvale fests since jrides grandparents been outta town
tryed to mini golf many times but it hasn't happened
I returned to the mall for the first time since later august of 1997
sheller aint that bad, we've been finding stuff to do

the route 18 roundup starts soon with the hot country jam june 6th

happy birthday jimmywayne and danny, dan you better like your new trampoline

-n