mere hours away from Turkey Bowl VII, npoc presents the official player profiles of the:

Colony Oaks Stone Balls
Entering the game with a chip of their shoulder, for the first time since the late 90's, the Stone Balls are the defending champions, and poised to be even stronger this year.

Captain, RB/WR Paolo Tolomeo, Pitt
The fifth year senior outta Pitt, is back at the helm of the Stone Balls once again. The black mesh shorts are pressed, folded and ready to go. He signed an endorsement deal with Under Armour over the offseason, and will be rocking that alongside the fro. Remember, hair is not part of the uniform and holding cannot be called on it.

QB/WR Aaron Anthony, Shaler Area High School Staff
His arm is underated and he has the ability to beat you deep. In his first turkey bowl he was at Shaler, last year he was at Penn State, now for Turkey Bowl VII, he once again eminates from Shaler. We'll see if his coaching experience at the high school level benefits the Stone Balls.

RB/OL Jason Ritter, WVU
The journeyman big fellow, has been all over, he has been on both sides of the backyard brawl, up to Slippery Rock, home depot and even a short stint at CCAC. The man with the steel forearm, will lead the power running game for the Stone Balls. A few wardrobe malfunctions have cost him the past couple of years, but with a brand new pair of spikes, his game will be 100% improved. His pants staying up will continue to be an issue but once he downs a few Pabts's its like the incredible Hulk.

OL/RB Chris Bailey, Shaler Area High School
The returning MOST VALUABLE PLAYER of the game last season, he proved to be the biggest steal in the draft. Incredibly hard to take down, the big fella lays a lick on defense.

WR Pat Bailey, IUP
His status is questionable for this game, based on his expected hangover in the morning. The text-book tackler himself, provides a lift to the Stoneballs on defense with his ability to cover ground and tackle Jef Funtal.

WR Tony Borress, Allegheny
With two rotator cuffs this year, (thats one more than he had in Turkey Bowl VI) mad dog is poised to make an impact reminiscent of his MVP performance in TurkeyBowl V.

QB/WR Josh Macel, Allegheny
When he lines up at quarterback, Untouchable fans rejoice. His passes have been shot down numerous times by near hunters but the hockey edge he brings to the game is one of a kind.

LB/RB Jason Donley, Slippery Rock
Maybe the only person on the field who looks forward to playing defense. He goes bearhands and feels no pain, he just delivers it.

RB Ross Hatherill, Pitt
As I write this Ross is currently taping himself up and getting himself ready for the game. Nobody goes more all out of for the Turkey Bowl than this big man. Him and Kyle will pick up their feud where it left off in Turkey Bowl V. A one year hiatus has Ross chomping at the bit to get back in. He has also signed a deal with Under Armour and will attempt to protect this house.

-n