All Washed Up
Both the Pirates season and their rubber match against the Diamondbacks today were washed out. The Pirates clinched the title as worst team in baseball shortly after their 7-4 loss late Wednesday night. Fan attendance is really suffering and discussion of the Pirates has all but faded away into talks of the upcoming Stiller mini camp. Its a sorry sad scene.
"Hurry up and close those shutters before the stink from the field gets up here"
-Rod
"So I had three tickets to the game, I couldnt find anybody to go with so I just left the other two in my car. I had left my windows down by accident. When I get back after the game theres now 7 tickets"
-Drunk Mike

Pirates 10-25 .286 12.5 games back

Winning Pct.
28. Royals .313
29. Florida .290
30. Pirates .286

CBSsportsline.com

28. Florida Marlins 74.20

29. Pittsburgh Pirates 72.43

30. Kansas City Royals 67.22


Elimination Number- 116

Outscored 129-175
1-12 against lefties
3-17 on the road

Chris Duffy .205
00000Mendoza Line00000
Burnitz .185
Jose Hernandez .150


The Pittsburgh KKK
Craig Wilson 32
Jason Bay 30
Burnitz 30

Pirates manager Jim Tracy, in his pregame media gathering this morning before the game was rained out, appeared more agitated than at any point since taking the job.
What set him off was a reporter's question about how much longer he can stick with outfielder Jeromy Burnitz, whose name again was on the lineup card in the No. 5 spot despite being 2 for 31 in May.
"I'm not going to answer that. I'm just not," Tracy said, raising his voice. "I'm not going to say that, by May 14, if so-and-so doesn't have two hits in a game, his ASS is out of there. I ain't doing that. If you played the game, then you know that you go through ..."

Odds of losing 100 games: 87%
Projected 2006 record: 46-116

Next up
The Battle for Last
3 game series between the 2nd worst and worst teams in MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. Loser of the series gets demoted to AAA. I can envision the crowds gathering for it now.
Pitchers you never heard of facing batters you never want to hear of in as meaningless as a professional sports game can be in the 2nd month of the season.

Projection:
Nobody actually goes so we'll never know who wins

-n