Here's to 16 Brilliant YearsAnd 16 More
The Pittsburgh Baseball Circus
The Pirates have given all of us in the baseball world unforgettable memories these past 16 summers.
They have played more meaningless games than any sports entity in history in the past decade and a half and a year
The Pittsburgh Steelers, who play about 140 less games a year than the Pirates have played more meaningful games the last 16 years than the Pirates have
The Pirates have failed to win for the last 16 years but they have also become the only team to not having a winning season between years of hosting the All-Star game
No fans in the world deserve a team like the Pirates, except Pirate fans
These 16 years are dedicated to every ass clown I have run across at PBC Park and instantly gotten into a shouting match with. For the grown men who sit on message boards and debate the talents of Jose Tbata or Nyjer "dont mispronouce my first name wrong" Morgan to middle aged balding radio call-in listeners who want to debate a mangerial move like it is somehow going to erase a 27 1/2 game deficit in the NL Central
The Pirates lead Major League Baseball history with the most sixth place finishes, since the Leagues expanded. The NL Central is the only division that offers six teams and the Pirates have made a cozy home in sixth place, venturing above to fifth place on occasion but never, EVER fourth place
In 16 years the Pirates have brought us the likes of
Jeff Reboulet
Chris Stynes
Jeremy Burnitz
Joe Randa twice
Jose Hernandez
Humberto Cota
Ryan Vogelsong
Armando Rios
John Van Benscoten
Bryan Bullington
Ian Snell
Tike Redman
Andy LaRoche
Bobby Hill
There is more but it just gets uglier
The Pirates will start an impressive streak of converting General Managers to scouts, yes a scout. Not a head scout but a scout. They turn managers to hitting coaches or bench coaches. They turn closers into middle relievers. That is what the Pirates do
When Cam Bonifay fell on his face, the Rays hired him as scout
When someone finally realized that Littlefield was burning all the cash he could before someone fired him, the Cubs made him a scout. A scout.
One teams general manager is another teams scout
Gene Lamont got fired and vanished
Lloyd McClendon got fired and became a nobody for the Tigers
Jim Tracy got fired and vanished
John Russell managed the worst team in Class AAA and then got hired to coach the worst team in MLB, the Pirates
Is it really worth ENDING your major league managerial career for one quick payday with the Pirates?
Matt Morris made 10 millon dollars to lose every start
Derek Bell made 8 million dollars to sit on his boat and laugh
Raul Mondesi made up a story that his families life was in jeopardy, fled the country until the Pirates cut him and then instantly showed up on the Anaheim Angels roster
Greg Brown does not deserve to call a winning team
John Wehner does not deserve to be on tv until english becomes his first language
It includes such gems as this
Step 44. Use the eighth overall pick in the draft to select the NCAA's leading home run hitter.
Great move!
Step 45. Immediately announce you are making him a pitcher.
Curious move!
Step 46. Wonder why he can't keep his ERA below 10.00.
Move! You are about to be struck by another home run ball rocketing into the bleachers!
The Pirates have just lost their fifth game in a row. They are firmly planted in the NL Central basement. They have single handily breathed life into the Houston Astros playoff chances who are a game away from a four-game sweep with three more games against the Pirates still on the dockett.
If a team is hot and the Pirates play them, its like pouring gasoline on them
The Pirates wear red on friday, hopefully this is distancing them away from the black and gold they never deserved to wear
Andy LaRoche was considered a prospect and Greg Brown wants to make sure you know that he named the No. 1 or No. 2 overall prospect in the Dodgers organization the last four years. That justifies his .170 batting average. It is the same old, it will always be the same old, just sit back and laugh and enjoy the losing. Enjoy it
Andy LaRoche will probably continue that streak of being named the No. 1 or No. 2 prospect simply becuase he is in the Pirates organization now
Step 892. Celebrate the acquisition of players who would serve as platoon players on other teams.
Sean Casey will get us over the hump! Adam LaRoche will lead us to the promised land! (Yes, if that promised land is continued high draft positions.)
The Pirate fan base finally reached an all-time low last season when after 15 years people finally decided to make a stand and protest the mockery of a game they were putting on. I was at that game. I walked out. The people around us, did not want to leave, they had just got there (it was the fourth inning) and had just got their food. Fat ass mom had nachos, litlte kids for yelling for Jack Wilson because they thought he was a legit player and their father with his jumbo pop and two hotdogs led them on to believe.
No we wont leave, we will stay right here. Every Pirate fan deserves the losing. Every single one of them. Here is to another 16 years and here is to those same jackasses collecting their bobbleheads and sitting in the stadium wondering why they are cheering for John Van Benscoten and Adam LaRoche.
We Will....
Make History
-n
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