Smoking a Turkey Bowl VI

Anderson Filled

9:03 a.m.

Thanksgiving Day

November 24, 2004

Official Rosters:

The Mount Royal Blvd. Untouchables

Captain- RB Jefrie Funtal, Penn State Erie

"This year the winning team wears white" He has already guaranteed a fifth Turkey Bowl Title for the Untouchables, and he has a right to do so as he holds the MVP from last years game. He does most of his damage coming out of the backfield or taking screen passes and just running and dragging people along.

RB Kyle Tobias, John Carroll University

This former Shaler Area Titan standout, leads the two headed rushing monster of the Untouchables, he and Ross Hatherill have had their fair share of encounters but with Ross out of the game, Kyle will have to keep an eye out for defensive linemen, Jason Ritter.

QB Mike Lankewitz, Whereabouts Unknown

The best arm on the field with Shebatich nursing a sore hip, he will lead the Untouchables passing attack

QB/WR/OL Ryan Macel, Penn State

Macel can be found going out for passes but when necessary he will stay back and block or even fill in when Lankewitz is gassed. He has also been known to draw up a few trick plays

WR Craig Deah, Jeep University

In his sweatsuit and biker gloves, he has caught a few passes and made suprising plays over the years

WR JimmyWayne Raising Hellche, IUP

The defending Badass champion uses his 6 foot 2 frame to out jump the defensive backs, he is quite the presence running patterns across the middle of the field

WR Gabe Monteleone, Whereabouts Unknown

Adds good speed to the outside for the Untouchables, really stretches the field

WR Tony Larkin, Naval Academy

The newcomer to the game, Larkin has experience playing for the Titans soccer team. His speed and desire should make up for lack of experience

OL npoc, West Virginia University

Protecting the quarterback and rushing the quarterback, npoc is always the consistent on the line, he has even been known to break loose off a block a catch a pass down the field, he has forced and recovered atleast one turnover in every Turkey Bowl

The Colony Oaks Stone Balls

The StoneBalls have been without a Turkey Bowl Championship longer than Etna has been without their 7-11, with key acquisitions this season, the game is expected to be alot closer than usual

Captain, RB/WR Paolo Tolomeo, Pitt

He draws out the plays and executes them, gets everyone involved and behind Jef and Kyle may be the toughest tackle on the field. He will keep the Stone Balls in this game longer than they deserve to be

QB/RB/WR Aaron Anthony, Penn State

He was absent from last years game, but he did graduate from Jacque Dematteos Shaler Area titan football team, he has been known to lay the wood on offensive players while playing defensive back and he can get some air under the ball

RB/OL Jason Ritter, Pitt, CCAC, SRU and now WVU

Ritter and npoc will go at it all day in the trenches blocking and rushing on the line, Ritter has taken a few carrys for first downs, and if he can keep his pants around his waist and not at his knees he should be the big man the Stone Balls need, especially after a few PBR's at halftime

OL/WR Chris Bailey, Shaler Area High School

Chris returns after a year abscence from the game, his size will prove to be a big plus for the O-line and protecting the Stone balls "quarterback"

WR Pat Bailey, IUP

Also back after a year away from the Turkey Bowl, the best defensive player on the field is the biggest addition to the Stone Balls this season, but is his addition enough to make up the 8 touchdowns, the StoneBalls lost by last season?

OL/WR Tony Borress, Allegheny

Playing with one rotator cuff, the man has obviously nothing to lose and he will play with reckless abandon as always

QB/WR Josh Macel, Allegheny

He draws up plays that never works and his pre-game speeches are just as ineffective, but if Macel can realize this is not hockey, he could provide a steady arm for the Stone Balls offense

OL/LB Jason Donley, Slippery Rock

The biggest man on the field, if he channel his strength he can do alot of damage to the quarterback and shutdown any pass rash from the Untouchables, watch out if this man gets into the open field with the ball, there may be nobody on the field that can take him down

There you have them, the official rosters of the Turkey Bowl VI

Good seats still remain, be there at 9:03 a.m. at Anderson Filled

The early Las Vegas line is Mount Royal BLVD. -3.5 touchdowns

-n