Fantasy Baseball, Amazing Race, The Slave, CC, Panaspalooza, Hank Jr. and of course, Rednecks
-Uraguay
I am officially at war with shop n slave management so I've been left off the schedule this week, so in between spending 25 hours a day in my garage, bidding on eBay, waiting at Don Allen for hours and catching up on old Sports Illustrated, I have some time on my hands to start posting again
Well until the pirates come back home, but that's not til Friday
New Yawk, New Yawk
npoc makes his return to Long Island after a 2 year absence
The annual Tolomeo Family Reunion will convene on Sunday and the opening night dinner at Pompeii will be Saturday night
Im guessing the reunion may be held on Jones Beach, but nobody tells me anything
What I do know is that instead of buying an SUV like we were supposed to, we have opted to rent a van for the trip
Hopefully I'll arrive in time for dollar dog night Monday dahn at the ballyard

You Might Be a Redneck If...
Three generations of your family have been represented in the SAME wet T-shirt contest
You still use your dead uncles handicapped parking sticker
(this occurs atleast three times a day in the slave parking lot)
Your best jacket has an advertisement on the back of it
(I love nascar)
NOBODY has ever asked your wife for one of her recipes
You are the legal heir to a fireworks stand

and the top reason this week that you might be a redneck....
Your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet

PanasPalooza
Asshole downstairs, Ring of Fire upstairs and a game of flip cup
Not much else to ask for
The latest twist to Ring of Fire
You pull a 10, you wear the beer box on your head
This may just be the greatest rule since the waterfall
In a shocking event, something that is so unpredictable I have still not calculated odds for yet, all four tens were pulled consecutively in a row, yes its true
In a 52 card pile with about 40 cards left 4 tens were picked in a row, and the beer box got passed around until it ended up on my head and being their where no 10's left I was doomed with the box the rest of the night
We introduced the non-west virginias to our friend the devil himself, Mr. 190, 95%, the whole grain, Everclear
but everyone opted out of it after one whiff
Before the party...
I attended Millvale Days, which is just inches away from a full casino
Just about everygame had to do with money, there was even a millvale style craps table, they had picksburg style blackjack, little chuck, big chuck and instant bingo
I managed to only blow $4
but most importantly, there was the first ShannonO sighting of the year
Ms. 4-9 at steedles had suprisingly curly hair for all the times she is supposedly "straightening" it

Fantasy Baseball
After knocking off the #3 team 5-4-1 this week I maintained my second place status in the 10 team league but I lost ground on first place Chuck who is now 8 games ahead of me but I distanced myself from the third place team, pretty much guaranteeing myself a bye in the playoffs
I own fantasy baseball

Hank Jr.
The latest hank jr. update is that a school bus will be the preferred mode of transportation
Nest "My family is taking a school bus out to hank"
"We're gonna have 2 kegs in it"
"You think Im kidding?"
And our hank jr. song of the day...
All my rowdy friends (have settled on down)

Clear Channel Listener Appreciation Week
I took advantage of the buy one get ones, picked up some lawn seats for the before mentioned hank jr. and brooks and dunn and got pretty decent seats for Bryan Adams at the chevy amp
I am still kicking myself for not getting Kenny Chesney tickets, I would have gladly of skipped the concert just to sell these tickets online
They our going for exuberant prices
Just a lawn seat is over $100 and climbing, truly unbelievable
Even the one in Charleston and Allentown is selling out
Next year I am starting my own corrupt eBay business
npocs tickets that you don't have Inc.
If I get enough financial backing and help I will have 1 person stationed on the phone, as many as possible at the giant eagle lottery and myself at home online
I will get the best seats possible and sell them at exuberant prices and I will use my legal West Virginia residence to legally be able to "scalp them" to any show outside of West Virginia
I am a mad genius
Anyone that wants in, let me know

but for this year hopefully leighannoy can come through and get me some tickets or press passes for kennychesney

Rough and Ready
Mudgrips - white-tip
Earnhardt racing sticker on travis's window
Banged up fender
4x4 - straight pipe roar
Primer and rust all over the door
Scarred up knuckles, Rebel belt buckle
White t-shirt - Ain't afraid to work
Got a 'what-are-you-looking-at-asshole' smirk

Cold beer, hot wings
Wranglers, no rings
Get just what you see
Gun rack, ball cap
Don't take no crap
Ain't a pretty boy-toy
I'll rock you steady
Rough and ready

Work boots - one blue suit
Size too small - don't wear at all
Unless somebody kicks - gets hitched
That's a bitch - makes me itch
Up with sun - off on the run
Makin' money money - cause I wanna have fun
5 o'clock whistle - off like a missle
Got a hot date, girl named Kate
Think's I'm cool - 'cause I shoot straight
Ain't one thing about her fake
She's long and tall - and she goes great with...

Amazing Race
The greatest reality show around is back on and thank god, the tv lineup really needs it
The teams are kinda struggling but there are some potentials for good drama
Quick run down of the teams
Bowling Moms
Overweight, overaged, white women will be out by next episode
Military Dad and Daughter
3 seconds into the show the dad trips and falls and needs 25, yes 25 stitches, he bleeds everywhere and his daughter is 23 but acts 12, I don't know what will stop first, their run on the show or the dads heart
Allison and Donny dating couple
Not really intriguing but currently in first place, they'll be at each others necks in no time and gone around mid-season
Marshall and Lance
Supposedly brothers but I think they are the mystery gay couple in this, just look at their names and you gotta see their picture on the website, it is so flameworthy, but they like roulette and they will be in the final 3 teams
2 old bag internet dating couple
Goodgod, they are the definition of boredom, the guys knees are bound to go out by episode 4 and that'll be the end of that
Midget and her cousin
The midget is the slowest thing I have ever seen and her cousin who is her caretaker sorta appears to be slow, but they also like roulette but they are soooo slow and weak they will fall before midseason
Jesus loving christian couple
The girl isn't to bad but the guy is the second biggest ferry of the episode behind the one that took them over the ocean
I can see them sticking around to the final 3
Random dating couple Colin and Christie
To many of these couples, they just aren't interesting, I cant tell them apart and they annoy me, hopefully they will be gone soon
The black couple
They met their quota by putting these 2 africanans on the show and they finished first but they skipped a clue and ended up in like eighth, they're done by episode 6
Hot blonde twins
Hopefully the mystery lesbian couple, if they are they will win, if not they will be out next week
A once engaged couple was the first team gone, I don't even remember their names but the guy was a big douche and the girl was to perky
Quote of the week
I disagreed with the newspaper on this one, I go with
"Is there time to play one handed blackjack"
As the midget and her cousin race out of the casino to get to the pitstop
Still the greatest amazing race quote of all time
Will"I cant dig, Im not a miner"
Tara"No your not, your an idiot"

Tune in tuesday at 10pm to catch the rest of the action
you must

And on Wednesday there is some country concert on tv on either cmt or cbs

Picksburg is getting slot machines, so you know what that means
West Virgeeenia has to outdo them and hopefully put in some table games
ahhhhhhhh
roulette, 3 card poker, craps, Caribbean stud poker
good god in the goosebasket I might take out another student loan

-n